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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24166402">Five, Learning</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriuspiggyback/pseuds/siriuspiggyback'>siriuspiggyback</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Closer I Am To Fine [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Gen, Let Number Five | The Boy Say Fuck, Misgendering, No Incest, Non-Binary Klaus Hargreeves, Queer Themes, Sibling Bonding, Swearing, They/Them Pronouns for Klaus Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:28:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,682</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24166402</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriuspiggyback/pseuds/siriuspiggyback</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five is smart. Subjects like math and physics have always come as naturally as breathing, and he isn't accustomed to feeling stupid. But people? Feelings? That stuff is not so easy.</p><p>Or, Five is 58 years old, and he is only now learning to be a brother.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Number Five | The Boy &amp; Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) &amp; Everyone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Closer I Am To Fine [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681714</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>505</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Five, Learning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>thanks to Lem for betaing!&lt;3</p><p>warnings for this one:<br/>-one incident of using the wrong pronouns (not maliciously)<br/>-much swearing (it's Five)<br/>-much use of the word queer and discussions of queer theory</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What’s this about, Five?” </p><p>Five turns to give Diego a narrow eyed look. “I told you already. Family meeting.”</p><p>“Then why isn’t Klaus here?” challenges Vanya from where she sits between Allison and Mom.</p><p>“Because this meeting is about Klaus,” Five explains tersely. </p><p>Luther crosses his sizable arms, and stands to tower about Five, and Five has to step back to see his face. “We’re not going to have a meeting about Klaus. They’re sober, they’re doing fine, and this feels… underhanded.”</p><p>“Don’t be a baby, Luther,” says Five. “Now sit the fuck down.”</p><p>It says something about how far Luther has come that instead of trying to intimidate him, he simply sits down with a huff. </p><p>Five nods to himself, careful not to let any relief show on his face. “Good.” He adjusts his shirt sleeves. “Now, let’s get on with this.”</p><p>“This being…?” Allison asks, eyebrow arching.</p><p>With a slow breath, Five stabs a finger down on the hefty pile of books positioned on the coffee table. His siblings zero in on the books, previously disregarded as Five’s usual reading material on theoretical physics. Realisation dawns on their faces as they read the titles. “Did you know,” Five says slowly, “that there are over a hundred different gender identities?”</p><p>For the space of a breath, no one says anything. Then, in true Hargreeves style, everyone speaks at once.</p><p>“Okay, so this is-”</p><p>“-could you not just talk to them about-”</p><p>“-don’t think Klaus has over a hundred gender identities, so-”</p><p>“-misguided, but kind of sweet?”</p><p>Five waits for them to finish, feeling a headache building behind his eyes. Once the room has fallen quiet again, he says, “Is this really something you want to risk getting wrong?”</p><p>Luther leans forward in his seat. “Okay. So teach us.”</p><p>“Alright,” says Five. “First, let’s start with some basic gender theory.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>An hour, many coffees, and the content of two gender study textbooks later, and Five is still speaking. His voice is developing a croak - this is possibly the most he has spoken, ever - but he has yet to slow down. Vanya’s eyes keep sliding shut, only for her to jerk her head upright every few minutes, and Diego zoned out at least twenty minutes ago. Mom is the only one who still appears to be listening. Five tries not to resent his siblings. He knows that they do care about this, care about Klaus, but it is still frustrating to see. </p><p>Determined not to be ignored, Five pitches his voice louder, lecturing, “So, this intersection between sexuality and gender is why many in the community prefer to-”</p><p>“Hey guys, have you seen Ben?”</p><p>The siblings all startle hard. Allison almost slips out of her seat, and Luther spills some lukewarm coffee on his jeans, whilst Diego hisses, “Shit.”</p><p>Klaus stands in the doorway, expression slowly tilting towards confusion. “What’s going on?”</p><p>“Um,” Luther says. “Uh, we-”</p><p>“This doesn’t concern you,” Five interrupts coldly.</p><p>Klaus jerks backwards minutely, as if Five’s words were a physical thing. “Oh,” they say.</p><p>“Five,” demonishes Vanya. She turns to Klaus, and adds, “He doesn’t mean it like that.”</p><p>“What I mean,” Five persists, “is that this meeting is about you, not for you.”</p><p>Klaus shakes their head, and then says, “What the fuck does that mean, bro?”</p><p>Before Five has a chance to speak, Luther blurts, “He’s teaching us about gender and stuff.”</p><p>He glares at Luther, hoping that he doesn’t flush; this is embarrassing enough already. </p><p>“That’s. Nice?” says Klaus, sounding entirely unsure whether it was, in fact, nice.</p><p>“It’s not nice, it’s sensible,” says Five. “Now leave, so I can continue.”</p><p>Defiantly, they drop down on the sofa instead, waving an arm like a conductor. “Please, continue.”</p><p>Five resists the urge to stamp his foot, and instead shoots his sibling an acerbic glare. “Leave.”</p><p>“Just pretend I’m not here!” insists Klaus.</p><p>“Go on, Five,” encourages Vanya, passing her coffee for Klaus to share.</p><p>He flares his nostrils, turning back to the book in an attempt to recover his train of thought, despite feeling thoroughly distracted. He had planned this lecture in the assumption that Klaus wouldn’t be present, and he now feels overly conscious of it, of himself, so he carefully avoids looking in Klaus’ direction, and pushes on. “Right. So, that’s why the word ‘queer’ is often preferred, as it’s more inclusive of all identities.”</p><p>“I do love the word queer,” Klaus interjects happily.</p><p>Five’s hands tighten around the book he is holding, knuckles turning white. When he speaks again, it is louder, as if to drown out Klaus. “However, despite the term’s historic use and academic popularity, there is still some pushback against it. Some individuals still consider the term to be a slur, or don’t like to use it in reference to themselves, so-”</p><p>“I’m very pro-queer, FYI,” says Klaus. “You can call me queer any time.”</p><p>Voice louder still, Five says, “So, since we don’t know Klaus’ individual feeling’s on the word, it’s probably safer to stick to the terms that he has used to- Shit.”</p><p>Shit. Shit, shit, shit-</p><p>A laugh. “Five, it’s fine,” Klaus says easily. The rest of the siblings look between them and Five, eyes wide and unsure.</p><p>“Shit,” Five repeats, throwing the book to the ground (useless fucking book, all that reading and Five still fucked it up-) with a thud. </p><p>“Seriously, bro,” says Klaus, sitting forward in their seat. “It’s-”</p><p>Five doesn’t hear the rest, because he’s already slipped through the fibres of reality and reappeared somewhere else.</p><p> </p><p>In his bedroom, Five kicks a stray piece of chalk across the room. Then, when that proves insufficient, he kicks a stack of boots. The way they thump across his floor is not as satisfying as he had hoped.</p><p>"Fuck," he hisses. "Fucking, goddamn, stupid piece of-"</p><p>The door opens.</p><p>He whirls around to tell whoever has followed him to get the hell out, but stops dead when he sees who it is. </p><p>"Hi," Five says weakly. "Sorry for yelling."</p><p>Mr Pennycrumb's tail begins to wag.</p><p>Five slips to his knees, holding out a hopeful hand. "Come here." The dog obliges, trotting over and quickly rolling into his back, wiggling in place. Five rolls his eyes fondly, before giving him a belly rub. "You're much better than my siblings, you know," he says seriously. "Simple. Easy to understand. You just want belly rubs and food, and I know how to provide that." Five sighs, scooping the dog up to hold him on his lap instead. Mr Pennycrumb twists around until he's got his belly facing up, eyes wide and begging. Five continues the belly rubs. "You're smarter, too."</p><p>“Ouch,” says a voice from the doorway.</p><p>The weight in his lap is the only thing that stops Five from teleporting away. Instead, he grits his teeth, and says, “I left the room. Take a hint.”</p><p>“No, I don’t think I will,” says Klaus, although they don’t step further into the room, just resting a shoulder against the frame.</p><p>“I’m not asking,” Five says, although his threatening tone is belied by the way he is still petting the pug in his lap.</p><p>Klaus rolls their eyes. “Yes, I’m terrified.”</p><p>“I’ve killed people,” Five reminds them.</p><p>“And I haven’t?” Klaus says, finally striding into the room, only to plop down in front of Five and scratch Mr Pennycrumb behind the ear. </p><p>Five looks away at that. “It’s different,” he says. “We’re different.”</p><p>“Not that different,” says Klaus. “Come on, Five. Talk to me.”</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“How about that little freak out downstairs?”</p><p>Guilt sits hot and heavy in his gut. “I fucked up.”</p><p>“You made a mistake,” corrects Klaus. “One mistake. You’ve only had two days to adjust to my new pronouns. It’s not a big deal.”</p><p>“Don't,” says Five. “Don’t dismiss it. Don’t pretend it’s not important to you, because it is.”</p><p>Klaus blinks their kohl lined eyes, seemingly stunned at Five’s ferocity. They swallow, and then say, “It is. It is important to me. It’s important to me that you’re trying, that you care enough to try. That’s what’s important to me.”</p><p>The intensity, the conviction of their words is unusual for them, usually more inclined to make jokes from their feelings than talk openly. Five knows how difficult this is for Klaus, because it’s difficult for him, too - Klaus was right about that. They are similar. </p><p>Five searches for the words to say, for something that could make Klaus understand, but he has little practice with emotional honesty. Eventually, he settles on, “I hate feeling stupid.”</p><p>Their eyebrows sharply rise. “Uh, stupid is not a word that I associate with you.”</p><p>“Well obviously,” drawls Five. “I’m a genius.”</p><p>“Modest, too.”</p><p>He huffs. “Math, physics - that stuff is easy. It’s this people stuff that’s hard,” he explains. “When I was in the apocalypse, I spent the whole time trying to get back, or trying to survive long enough to do that. I didn’t have much time to think about shit like gender.”</p><p>Klaus puts their head in their hands for a moment, sucking in a long breath, before speaking into them. “Five, I don’t need you to be an expert in gender theory. I just need you to be my brother.”</p><p>Five looks up. His mouth goes dry, jaw tight, and Mr Pennycrumb whines until he resumes petting him. “What if I don’t know how to do that?” he asks, voice smaller than he would like.</p><p>“Five,” says Klaus, “Do you think any of us do? We’re a bunch of maladaptive assholes trying to be a family, and we’re shit at it, but the important part is that we’re trying. And you’re trying, too. The rest… we can work that out later.”</p><p>Mr Pennycrumb lets out a little half bark, as if in agreement. </p><p>“You’ve gotten really good at talking about feelings,” Five says dryly.</p><p>Smiling, Klaus says, “Turns out, practice really does make perfect.”</p><p>Five’s mouth ticks upward. “Is that a hint?”</p><p>They clap a hand onto Five’s bony shoulder, and reason, “A little practice couldn’t hurt.”</p>
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